Or at least that's what it looks like. Which, at 26 weeks, is where I should be - it's just bizarre to me that this is my body. I haven't gotten used to the fact that strangers now know that I'm pregnant. For the first 6 months, I could have been mistaken for someone who had their way with a six-pack of beer one too many nights. And being bundled in sweaters and jackets didn't help to "out" me.
But the other day, as I was paying for my goodies at Michaels, the woman behind the counter asked me, "What are you having?" My only thought was, "for dinner?" She must have seen the blank look on my face because she pointed to my belly. Thank god I didn't answer what was in my head because it would have been, "lamp chops", and that might have really shocked her.
The reason I bring this up is because it reminds me that things might not be as they appear. It's always interesting to find out what's really going on behind the curtain, and it's rarely what you think. Sometimes I'd rather leave it as it is in my mind - like when I found out that that so-together, has-it-all entrepreneur that I admired isn't really that "together" and doesn't quite have it all. And sometimes it's reassuring to know that they're not that different than you - and that they have the same issues you struggle with.
Have you thought about your perceptions lately - and that they might not be as accurate as you think? What image do you think you portray? How close is it to the truth?
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4 comments:
I feel like the music from "killiing me softly" should be playing as I write. "strumming my pain with his fingers...singing my life with his words.." As I have been grappling with this concept of perception and comparison. Are you outing me?!
Since my focus for the last two years has been growing my family as opposed to growing my business- I feel particularly vulnerable when I see others who are really excelling in the career realm. Not that I have been slacking, but I haven't been 100% dedicated to making our business all it can be. Luckily, we've had really steady business and good publicity nevertheless. But its hard not to wonder what it might be if I had motivated myself to promote more. That and I'm really hard on myself anyway.
I had a good reality check with a colleague of mine . We were discussing this and she gave me her view- perception of our business- this after I had just pitched a shared client. It was really affirming and I trust her not to kiss my ass.
So even though I try to consider the rules in the Four Agreements and not put stock in what others have to say about me personally, I think getting feedback from some neutral professional colleague might be helpful. Or maybe even a couple. And then ultimately it is my decision what to do with the information.
Thanks Sue for posting this!
H
I think I tend to not realize the struggles of others as well. And I know the image I portray is more of a cheery type as opposed to showing my struggles.
OK, I wrote a long, deep comment on this post but it's not here. I wonder if I messed up the word verification and didn't notice that it didn't go through. :(
Heather - yes, I am outing you! You are too hard on yourself and your business. I am sure that anyone else would look at what you've created and think, "Wow - look at what she's accomplished". I'm glad you got feedback from a colleague that served as a reality check.
Brenda - I think we tend not to show our struggles because that makes us more vulnerable, but it also allows us the opportunity to sympathize with eachother.
Cindy - so sorry about the missing post - wish we could recover it somehow.
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