If you're anything like me, negotiating deals is not your strong suit. My need to please people + my eagerness to make a deal work = not such a great deal for me... until I read "The Good Girl's Guide to Negotiating" by Elizabeth Austin and Leslie Whitaker. These smart women must somehow know me because they pinpointed every problem I have with negotiations. As a woman, we have "
a reservoir of untapped negotiating skills. You're probably a great listener, a keen observer of nonverbal cues, and an expert at putting yourself in another person's shoes." Surprisingly, the book taught me
not to be a shark - but rather to use these personality traits to my advantage.
"You don't have to choose between being a good person and getting a good deal. A negotiation is truly successful when both sides feel they've struck an equitable bargain, one that feels good to you the day you make it, and when you look back years later."
Another great thing about the book is that it's not just for business deals and getting raises - it includes chapters on selling your house, buying a car and talking to a doctor.
Let me know what you think of the book!
5 comments:
The issue I have with negotiating is not always wanting to be nice or even having impathy for the other side but that I want what they've got and want it quickly. The challenge has been how to strike the bargain that makes both sides feel good when really I just want to win. Do you have thoughts on how I might help things move faster?
When I am able to pick up body language and really wish to have a win/win for all involved, I'm just not sure how to change my tactics to achieve this.
uh-oh! what does a book like that say about sharks like me?! i tend to always challenge other people until they totally back down or give in (is that the same thing and should i feel any guilt about it?)i find as a woman, especially a woman who is negotiating with a man, i have the most luck sitting back and nodding (so they think they really have the upperhand and are outsmarting you) then just fire away with the questions or in some extreme cases - demands. you can't lose.
after my husband just read my post and remarked on how aweful i was for saying those things ... i feel the need to explain. anyone who knows me knows that i fight for what's fair. i certainly don't go in to a negotiation trying to hurt someone or secretly trying to bring them down so i come out on top. i never think of it as "winning". it's about knowing what you want and what you deserve and negotiating until you get it. maybe i should read the book ...
Hey - whatever works for you! It's imperative to know what you want and what you should be getting - otherwise, what are you fighting for? But I think what the book is saying about "win/win" situations is that it's truly a good deal when it works for both sides. If I strike a deal with a big client that gets me a great price for my product, but it's so high that my client doesn't make any money, my chances aren't good that they will be reordering - which hurts me in the long run.
As for moving things along faster -sometimes that can't be helped and sometimes you can put a caviat in the deal. In some situations you can attach a deadline for a response. But again, that is only in certain instances and might make them balk. I tried that once with a vendor - and he went ballistic. It doesn't mean that I shouldn't have tried it, it just means that sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't!
Jill,
The hardest part for me is throwing out a number and not knowing if it's way too high and scaring them off, or way too low - and they were willing to pay much more! I guess that's why I like to find a mid-point.
Good point about listening - and I even think there is a part in the book that tells you just to be quiet and see what the other side does.
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